The Musings of a Deranged Mind
by EmraePenne
Summary: A journal, a memoir, a look into the depths of a deranged mind. Jasper's mind is a dark place full of hate and death; and that's when he's alone, when the voices come out to play...no one is safe. *Winner Judges Pick Death by Darksper Contest.*


**WARNING! THIS IS VERY GRAPHIC AND VERY DARK. (I SHUDDER WHEN I READ IT, AND I WROTE IT!) NOT EVERYBODY HAS A STRONG STOMACH. PLEASE TAKE THIS INTO CONSIDERATION.**

**IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE. STOP NOW.**

**JUST STOP.**

**YOUR MIND DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS. **

Ok. Now that the warnings are done with, a little more info about the story. It is one of the Judges Pick for the Death by Darksper Contest. I want to thank my beta **faerie_kitten** she is awesome. Check out her entry (its over on her page too) Psychotic Sanity. Really dark horror erotica. Okie dokie, I hope you enjoy and as always I loooooove reviews, even if its a smiley face.

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**The Musings of a Deranged Mind**

April 13th

I have finally escaped. Two torturous years of having to pretend at being cured. It was a nightmare. The voices understood my logic, although they were unhappy. They sang when I smelled freedom.

First I had to take care of the doctor and her attendants. Dr. Maria Sanchez had been easy enough to snuff out. She was so fragile and small, squirming beneath my hands. Her attendants, however, proved to be a challenge. Peter was a good fighter, strong. His mind was weak, though, not a creative thought in his head. As soon as he was incapacitated, the strangling was easy. Pity his eyes were gone; I would have loved to see the fear in them.

His partner, Nahuel, took some time. Holy hell, did he put up a fight! Trained in Brazilian Jujitsu, I believe. However, after a kick to the knees he was down for the count. He did manage to break a rib or two. But all in a days work.

JW.

April 27th

A new town, a new place, a new beginning. Hello. A place called Biloxi, Mississippi. I believe there is a mental health facility here. I read in Dr. Sanchez's file that she had once worked with some patients here. There was also one file that she kept active. A young woman. Mary Alice Brandon. Her file was interesting, to say the least. Her picture has intrigued me to the point that I am going to visit her soon.

Maybe she will want to visit the free world as I have.

JW.

May 1st

Ah, my little counterpart is vicious. When I asked her what she wanted to do to her old prison, she suggested burning it down. I agreed vehemently, as did the voices. They rather liked the idea of watching it burn. Tonight we will visit the institution one more time, and watch it go up in flames. Today, Todd, one of my closest voices gave me an idea…I will let you know how it goes, tomorrow.

JW.

May 2nd

Sweet success. Mr. and Mrs. Brandon, along with their youngest daughter, are now hanging by their necks off of the grand staircase. Alice, as Mary likes to be called, helped with the hanging. She laughed viciously as her mother screamed. Annie, the angel over my shoulder, smiled as Alice's little sister, Cynthia, said the Lord's Prayer. Like praying will save you. It never did us any good. Alice squealed as she pushed Cynthia of the ledge, enjoying the way her body contorted and convoluted.

Tomorrow Alice and I are moving. To where, we still have yet to decide. A new adventure is in store.

JW.

May 13th

Alice killed a truck driver. I was so proud watching my little puppet. We have decided to move to Washington. Apparently there are plentiful forests there and an abundance of hikers for the picking. I love her twisted mind. Natasha came to me today. She is such a dear friend, she suggested that I make Alice my own.

I love the idea of Alice being mine. I shall have to talk to Damian before I make any moves, though. Strange, he hasn't shown up in a while.

JW.

May 30th

We have arrived in a small town called Port Angeles. I had a visit from Damian. He said I would find better pickings in another town, but that I should enjoy this one while I'm here. Tonight were going to a bar called One-Eyed Pete's. I hope it will be fun.

JW.

June 1st

My darling Alice made a delicious selection last night. A couple. I believed they told us their names were Ben and Angela. Angela was a pretty girl, hidden behind her glasses. Today I feel like writing an intimate description of our fun.

Early yesterday evening I had a visit from Pandora. She rarely comes out to play, so I was surprised when I heard her. Alice had just invited the couple to sit with us. She was so good at making people feel relaxed and comfortable. Apparently they had stopped here for the night on their way to their new home in Forks. Why they didn't continue on I will never know, but I'm sure glad they stopped.

They had never even been to the town before. That's when Pandora gave me the idea.

'_My dear Jasper. They have not continued on to their destined town. Maybe they never will. Have some fun with them. Then take their place.'_

That was all it took. I knew what I was going to do.

"So, Ben, what is it that you do?" I asked.

"I'm a psychiatrist," he looked proud of himself.

I smiled internally. "Really?"

"Yeah, I managed to fill the position at Forks General. I was really lucky."

_Not as lucky as me_, I thought. "And what about you Angela?" I turned my attention, so as not to draw too much attention.

"I got a job as a receptionist at the local police department."

Life was getting sweeter and sweeter with every second.

"That's awesome!" Perky Alice made an appearance. "I used to be a receptionist back home."

"Oh that's so cool…" the girls went off toward the bar to get more drinks.

"What about you, Jasper?" Ben's voice distracted me from Alice's ass.

"I used to be in corrections," I murmured vaguely. If only he knew the truth.

"Ah, man, that's a hard job, from what I've been told." He took a swig of beer before continuing. "Did you hear about the massacre down in Texas at that psychiatric corrections facility?"

_You mean the one I caused?_ "Yeah I heard about it."

"Terrible, huh?"

"Yeah." The memory of the wondrous night came to me…

_~Flashback~_

_The night's spoils were all around me. Bodies of the doctors, nurses, and guards were like dead rats after cyanide poisoning, their bodies littered the floor. Some of my inmates joined them. Now what to do with the bodies…_

_I went down to the crafts room. Ah, perfect. I picked out needle and thread. I then moved to the kitchen, a large butcher knife calling to me. I looked around the kitchen; putting the poison in their water was way too easy, but I am grateful that it worked._

_I made my way back to the bodies. Pandora was getting excited; she kept whispering little ideas to me. I smiled as I went to the first of the bodies, Dr. Sanchez. Snapping the surgical gloves over my hands, relishing in the feel of them, I went to work._

_The eyes were the easiest part. I popped them out; it was too easy, really. The needle and thread came next. That was rather hard, but once I pierced the flesh and the juices started to drain it was rather easy to pull the thread through. I hung those in the entrance of the building. To welcome the police later. Thirty pairs really did go a long way._

_Next I went for their torsos. Carving into their chests and pulling out the hearts. I then hung those as well. Lining the halls of the facility. Thank god all the inpatient doors were on lockdown, I didn't want anybody interrupting me. _

_The intestines were sloppy, but they made for great streamers. I happily decorated the lunchroom. It made it seem almost festive. The red of the blood brought out the dull green of the tabletops. It looked much nicer. Like Christmas, only better. _

_I went back to the bodies and I sewed them up nice and tight. I stood them all up against the receptionist table, tying them up so that they were supported by rope. I then decided to bind them together in a more permanent way.. Cutting of the flesh of their palms, I then sewed their hands together. Palm facing palm, they would be like that until the police found them…_

_~End Flashback~_

"…and they're still looking for this patient." Ben was still talking, "But after two weeks it's going to be nearly impossible."

"Yeah, tell me about it." I looked at his bottle; it was empty. "Need another?" I pointed to it.

"Yeah, man, if you wouldn't mind," he said, smiling at me.

I went to the bar where Alice and Angela were sitting, still chatting like old friends. I leaned into Alice's side whispering in her ear, "Get them pissed, I have some plans."

A wicked gleam shone in her eyes, and I could see she was excited. I gave her a hard kiss then walked back to Ben with two fresh beers.

It took a while for them to get righteously drunk, but what I had planned would be worth it. Alice and I helped them out the door of One-Eyed Pete's.

"So, lovely, are you going to tell me what we have planned for our new friends?" Alice asked me as we pulled out of the parking lot.

I looked in the rearview mirror, watching their heads bob back and forth.

"Have you ever heard of double suicide?"

Her pearly white smile beamed in the low lights of the dashboard.

"Can we play with them first?" she begged.

'_How can we refuse that?'_ Pandora practically purred.

"Of course, babe." I bent over her and licked her lips, then turned my attention back to the dark, winding road.

I had looked at a map before we left Port Angeles. There was a nice place not too far away that was on the coast. I believe it was called La Push. Apparently they had great cliffs, and it wasn't too far from Forks. It took us nearly two hours to get there, but it was worth it. The sun was starting to come up as we pulled in to a small camping area. The forest around us would be perfect for torture.

I looked at the small sleepy town off in the distance. I wondered briefly if they would be able to hear the screams from there. We would have to go deeper into the forest, that much was certain. Alice flitted to my side, excited, her eyes buzzing. I think I am in love with her.

Pandora was slithering around, her thoughts clear to me. '_Dear Jasper, she is such an exciting little thing. I think Natasha was right. Make her yours.' _

I smiled at her praise for my little puppet. I grasped Alice's hand, bringing it to my mouth and biting her little finger rather roughly.

She let out yelp then purred at the action, licking her blood red lips.

"This is going to be so much fun." Her devilish smile was contagious.

I grinned right back at her, before pulling out the first of our victims. Good thing Ben was a small man otherwise he would be able to fight me off. Angela was just as light as Ben. We dragged them to the nearby forest, which had some secluded cliffs.

"Alice, be a dear and go fill the backpacks in the car with rocks from the beach. Can you do that, love?" I asked in my most honeyed voice.

"Of course, Jazzy," she leaned in and kissed me gently.

Then she was off, flitting around and skipping like a fairy. I sat Ben and Angela back to back. They were still passed out. I tied them together to keep them from escaping. Then I went back to the car, getting out my supplies that would bring them pain, but wouldn't cause any permanent damage to them.

I loved my needle collection. I had short and long, thick and thin, hooked and straight, all to cause pain. I also had different blades to inflict cuts that looked like everyday scrapes, but I would save those for another day.

Alice came back lugging the backpacks. She was positively exhausted by the time she arrived.

"Do you want to rest while I get to work?" I asked her, knowing she would refuse.

"Are you kidding me? This is my favorite part!"

I took her hand and led her deep into the forest, right next to the cliffs. The wind was brutal. Angela and Ben were starting to come out of their alcohol-induced coma. Moaning and writhing in pain. Only a few more hours and they would be fish food.

Ben groaned, his eyes opening. He looked around, dazed and confused. He tried to say something, but the gag I had placed was working quite well.

"Good morning, Dr. Cheney. How are you feeling?" I asked in my most professional voice.

He struggled against the restraints, jolting Angela into consciousness. She, too, looked around, and then tried to scream.

My little angel, Alice, danced in front of her, wagging her finger like a schoolmarm.

"Oh, Angela, screaming will get you no where," she said in a sing song voice. She danced back to me. "I'm ready to play now."

Pandora giggled. '_Oh, yes. We're definitely keeping this one.'_

I smiled as I went to get my kit from the ground. I opened the top, looking at the gleaming stainless steel. I picked out a two thin, straight needles. This was going to be fun. Damian poked his head out. This was always his favorite activity. I handed one to Alice.

"I'll take Angela, you can have fun with Ben," I whispered in her ear.

She giggled then hopped to it.

I knelt in front of Angela, her eyes were already filled with tears. I wiped away the ones that had fallen on her cheeks.

"Don't worry, dear, this will hurt for just a bit, then it will be all over."

She whimpered. Behind her Ben started struggling. I knew Alice had already gone to work.

"Look at me darlin'."

Her eyes shot up in fear, I grabbed the lids, and held her head in place. Then she started to really scream as the needle came towards her right eye. I pushed it against her pupil, at first it resisted, then it gave. I felt a sense of satisfaction. I moved the needle in and out, up and down. It was so relaxing.

"Okay, Alice." I gave her notice that it was time to move on to the next activity.

I brought two curved needles, connected with fishing line. Alice hooked one to Ben's scalp, just as I did to Angela's. Then we started pulling them away from each other, their screams a symphony in my ears.

"Alice, darling?"

"Yes, Jazzy?"

"I don't think we can play with them anymore, it is becoming to light, and we need it to look like suicide."

Upon hearing their fate, they started screaming and struggling to get free.

"Get the backpacks, dear."

Alice retrieved them like a good little girl, and handed them to me. I strapped them on Ben and Angela, the straps placed in the back and a padlock attached to it to prevent them from taking it off. We then stood them up and walked them to the cliff. Their struggles were useless.

"Any last words?" I asked as soon as we were at the precipice.

I could plainly hear both of them asking us not to do this. I chuckled as Alice giggled.

"No? Okay then."

"Oh, and when you get to where ever you're going, tell my family hi," Alice added on.

I pushed them off the cliff. The gags muffling their screams as they met oblivion.

I turned to Alice, and brought her into a passionate kiss. Tomorrow begins our new adventure as Dr. Cheney and his fiancée Ms. Angela Weber. I'll let you know how it goes.

JW.


End file.
